Oh, Lord!

Im prefacing this post with a simple fact:  I am in no way doubting there is a God that answers prayers.  I am a believer.  I drank the Kool Aid and I have been washed in the very smelly, warm blood of the lamb. I tell you that to tell you this...

Tonight I read the status update of a family member and I literally laughed so hard I had tears running down my face.  Ladies and Gents, I give you THE status update:

FB Friends.............Ive lost my keys to my car, We have looked every where, Im asking all my friends that pray, to pray with me that GOD will show me where they are. This is not stupid to pray for this.........God has the power to do this. Please pray with me.

First things first, try to wake up Chad because this is HIS family member, mine only by marriage.  It's a no go.  He has to work in the morning and doesn't appreciate me waking him up to talk about anything to do with FB (or his family, for that matter).   Next idea, call Cory and laugh.  For posterity and your sake, I wrote down our responses that unfortunately won't make the 'comments' section under my dear Aunts post.  

10. I think God wants you to walk to the Dollar General tonight.

9. St Peter: "Ma'am, your keys have to be missing for more than 24hrs before we can file a report.  Do your keys have any enemies?  What were your keys wearing when you saw them last.  Did you have a disagreement?  Is there any reason to believe your keys may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

8. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was hiding your damn keys.

7. 'It is not stupid to pray for this'...um, yes it absolutely is.

6. 11 out of 12 Disciples agree that this is a dumb ass prayer.

5. Have you tried reading The Secret and visualizing your keys?

4. Cory has a blind date coming up, can he pray that she's hot and that the Home Depot isnt out of chloroform?

3. 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not wasteth the Lords time

2. Worst follow up prayer:  So, God, where we at on them keys?

1. Gods Assistant:  Yeah, we have Obama on line 1 asking about the debt ceiling, Africa on line 2 with the usual poor, starving children with AIDS thing and some lady named Sharon on 3 talking about car keys?


And this concludes the 1st annual 'get Misty punched in the face by a family member' blog.  We all knew it was bound to happen.  I'll post pics of my fat lip asap. 

 G'night!