Due to recent events concerning language use both on social networks and in social situations, we feel the need to defend our right to express ourselves however the fuck we want to. We're talking about cursing here you guys. Merriam-Webster defines curse as...whatever there are no dictionaries in this house. What we're trying to say is that, when used properly, cursing can be an art form.
So why curse? For one, there are no good substitutes. Substitutes for cursing sound absolutely ridiculous. Darn-it, dang-it, cheese doodles, dag nabbit all sound like Yosemite Sam chasing Bugs Bunny. No one outside of a cartoon character has ever gotten anything accomplished using this type of language. We don't suggest using it ever.
So why curse? Because your parents did and they got shit done. If your mom said "Get in here"....not much would happen. If your mom said "Get your butt in here!"....you might get up and go see what she wanted. If your mom said "GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" you know damn well your ass would be moving at the speed of light to find out what was going on.
So why curse? Because a child cursing is funny. And they can't do it if they don't hear or see us doing it. Without question, up until about age 4, it's pretty hilarious. You could probably substitute a midget cursing here if you weren't all that comfortable with a child cursing. Basically what we're saying is that miniature humans whether they're 4 or 44 using foul language is funny.
So why curse? Because you're way fucking stressed. We've all been there. Hard day at work, driving home, you get cut off by some prick in a Miata. Do you think you'll feel better just shaking your fist? Bullshit....you let the son of a bitch have it and unleash a hellspawn fury of language that even George Carlin would be proud of. At that point you're probably even making up a few cuss words.
So why curse? Because sometimes it's really the only way to get your point across. Cursing has a way of adding that certain je ne sais quoi to any statement. It gets people's attention. And that's really all you want isn't it? You selfish prick.
So what are we really trying to say here? That we're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it any more? No. The 800 word post we had on Instagram Overdose just wasn't up to snuff yet. So we went with cursing. We could have stopped a few paragraphs ago but you know what? We fucking didn't.
