Im prefacing this post with a simple fact: I am in no way doubting there is a God that answers prayers. I am a believer. I drank the Kool Aid and I have been washed in the very smelly, warm blood of the lamb. I tell you that to tell you this...
Tonight I read the status update of a family member and I literally laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. Ladies and Gents, I give you THE status update:
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Viewers Choice! First Annual In's and Out's Q&A blog!
It's time to get interactive, yo. This is my blog, so obviously, I pick the topics... UNTIL NOW!! Tell me what you wanna read about and consider it done! You wanna know what I think about Casey Anthony? How about my take on Wikileaks? Ke$ha's VD infested snatch VS. Lady Gaga's acid trip of a face? Are you curious to know if I wear boxers or briefs or if really kill hobos for fun? Come at me with your best questions and most interesting topics and I'll tackle 'em all.
I'll be enlisting the help of my friend and co-blogger Cory Dodson for this project as I have on a few of my more recent blogs. In case you have no idea where this person came from, a little back story on the phenom that is Cory: He's a dude. He worked for the same company I did 5 years ago and after noticing he was ridiculousy funny, I made him be my friend. (Emphasis on 'made', he did not volunteer his friendship. Im pretty convincing when I wanna be.) We've been thick as thieves since and have decided that working a regular 9-5 is just not for us. Our day jobs need to be sitting around sharing our thoughts and opinions with the world and getting paid large sums of money for it. (Which we will inevitably pump back into the economy via late night trips to EZ Mart and Taco Bueno.)
This blog post will be my love letter to the loyal readers of In's and Out's. Maybe you have a great story that Im some how involved in but don't quite remember? Remind me! I'll change all the parts about 'coke and whores' to 'puppies and kittens' and run with it! Comment on this post with your questions or ideas and I'll make sure I cover that topic or stealthily evade answering your way too personal questions in a humorous way. ;) Til then, I love you all! - M&M
I'll be enlisting the help of my friend and co-blogger Cory Dodson for this project as I have on a few of my more recent blogs. In case you have no idea where this person came from, a little back story on the phenom that is Cory: He's a dude. He worked for the same company I did 5 years ago and after noticing he was ridiculousy funny, I made him be my friend. (Emphasis on 'made', he did not volunteer his friendship. Im pretty convincing when I wanna be.) We've been thick as thieves since and have decided that working a regular 9-5 is just not for us. Our day jobs need to be sitting around sharing our thoughts and opinions with the world and getting paid large sums of money for it. (Which we will inevitably pump back into the economy via late night trips to EZ Mart and Taco Bueno.)
This blog post will be my love letter to the loyal readers of In's and Out's. Maybe you have a great story that Im some how involved in but don't quite remember? Remind me! I'll change all the parts about 'coke and whores' to 'puppies and kittens' and run with it! Comment on this post with your questions or ideas and I'll make sure I cover that topic or stealthily evade answering your way too personal questions in a humorous way. ;) Til then, I love you all! - M&M
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Putting the 'Die' in 'Diet'
Seriously...Who would willingly take a pill that caused intense stomach cramping, horrid b.o., dry mouth, excessive sweating, headaches and heart palpitations? Short answer: Me.
I've put on a few lbs over the last 2 years (20, to be exact, fml) and I really need to get it gone. Bustin ass 24/7 at the gym wasnt cutting it. Some say I must have been doing it wrong but I figured even if I was doing it wrong, surely Id have seen a TINY bit of improvement after 4 months... Nope.
That's why Im moving on to legal crack. (Legal Crack = 'Crack' you can buy at any health food/ fitness center) In addition to taking every vitamin or mineral thought to boost metabolism and energy levels, Im now ingesting what I can only assume is some form of Drain-O twice a day. I can actually feel my liver and kidneys failing, but Im no quitter, folks. I gave the gym it's fair shake, now Im riding this out until Im thin or my heart explodes.
Sad part is, Im not even shooting for some unrealistic # that would leave me looking emaciated and able to slice cheese with my collar bones. Im just trying to get back to a reasonable, 'healthy' weight. (Have I mentioned fml?)
My only other alternative is to hire a midget to literally follow me around and slap the food from my hands. I get that being healthy and thin is a 'lifestyle', but my life consists of fast food on the go, 3 picky kids that wont eat anything green unless it's a booger or some Nickelodeon brand of candy and a husband that eats 24/7 in hopes of gaining a pound. The deck is stacked against me but im determined to see this through.
Hopefully the weight loss wont take long because I dont think my cadiovascular system can handle much more of this. Then again, it's probably no more overworked than the seams of my favorite pair of jeans. :/
I've put on a few lbs over the last 2 years (20, to be exact, fml) and I really need to get it gone. Bustin ass 24/7 at the gym wasnt cutting it. Some say I must have been doing it wrong but I figured even if I was doing it wrong, surely Id have seen a TINY bit of improvement after 4 months... Nope.
That's why Im moving on to legal crack. (Legal Crack = 'Crack' you can buy at any health food/ fitness center) In addition to taking every vitamin or mineral thought to boost metabolism and energy levels, Im now ingesting what I can only assume is some form of Drain-O twice a day. I can actually feel my liver and kidneys failing, but Im no quitter, folks. I gave the gym it's fair shake, now Im riding this out until Im thin or my heart explodes.
Sad part is, Im not even shooting for some unrealistic # that would leave me looking emaciated and able to slice cheese with my collar bones. Im just trying to get back to a reasonable, 'healthy' weight. (Have I mentioned fml?)
My only other alternative is to hire a midget to literally follow me around and slap the food from my hands. I get that being healthy and thin is a 'lifestyle', but my life consists of fast food on the go, 3 picky kids that wont eat anything green unless it's a booger or some Nickelodeon brand of candy and a husband that eats 24/7 in hopes of gaining a pound. The deck is stacked against me but im determined to see this through.
Hopefully the weight loss wont take long because I dont think my cadiovascular system can handle much more of this. Then again, it's probably no more overworked than the seams of my favorite pair of jeans. :/
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Misty and Cory Live Action Blog Hoarders.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/248352/hoarders-hannakathy-and-gary
Today we're going to attempt to get through an entire episode of A&E's Hoarders. This particular episode features a three legged goat/chicken enthusiast with a wicked right jab named Hanna, and a fun loving Ohio couple named Kathy and Gary who just can't get enough sweet bunny love.
Hoarders - Hanna/Kathy & Gary
"Compulsive Douchebaggery (two g's?) is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to point and laugh and lampoon those who are less fortunate."
"More than 3 million people are compulsive douchebags."
"Here's two of their blogs....."
01:29 We're gonna call bullshit on the "ridgerunning" and "stump-jumpin".....also the last "cotton-picking" was probably done by her grandparent's slaves....guessing she didn't fall too far of the genetic tree when it comes to physical dexterity.
01:30 COCK
01:45 Why is she feeding them handicapped grain.
01:53 Lawanda...Luanda....Lahwunda.....
01:58 Wheelchair'ing feed around a 4 1/2 acre farm?
02:10 "Hey, take off your shoes...this is semi-new dead cat hair"
02:15 "off to the right is our immovable wall of junk....and over here on your left is the guest immovable wall of junk"
02:30 If this house's a rockin MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CAUSE IT'S COMIN DOWN
02:55 sweet freedom. If you look closely you can see scrawled on the tupper ware in chicken scratch "Brooks wuz here"
03:30 "good thing to get out of that ol raggedy......aggedy trailer" See Hanna's still there mentally, she realized this was basic cable.
03:44 We could go the rest of our lives without ever knowing what behiggies (two g's?) are.
04:15 We figured out why the chickens are dying....she feeds them tide.
04:53 Luwanda don't take no shit! She has a tattoo above her udder that says "Goat Life"
05:01 So that's how you get 30inch biceps? Pushing a wheelchair around 4 acres and bitch slapping goats all day.
05:04 Hit pause.....whom does this remind you of? Think "Nah Clark, he's just under the table yakkin on a bone."
05:55 16 kids and 10 are still living......we are speechless. Although it's above 50% so we'll cut her some slack.
06:22 As long as it's in the confines of a 3 by 5 Rubbermaid tote.
06:45 If 6 of my brothers or sisters had died I would've said " I can't stand to see Mom live...."
Kathy & Gary or I GOT TOO MANY BUNNIES
07:05 "I got too many bunnies." Don't worry we're having the t-shirts printed now.
07:05 Gary seems a little nonchalant about having 6 MILLION GODDAMN BUNNIES
07:15 So in the plus column we have "wiggly nose".......
07:28 "They"? Gary? Really? Let's change that to "Gary says"...."Gary says that when bunnies do it....bunnies do it"
07:28 That t-shirt will be for sale as well
07:40 SHOCKER
07:52 This footage looks like the Blair Bunny Project.
08:15 Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll slowly die of asphyxiation from inhaling bunny shit....tomorrow....it's only a day away.
08:29 The Animal Protective League...which rents a room on the backside of the Justice League.
08:32 My friends call me "Bunny Wrangler" It's not about the money.....WIGGLY NOSES Y'ALL
09:10 We wonder if Jeff had taken the opportunity to be a little punny and tell the landlord that the situation was "hare-y"
09:10 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
09:12 WANDERING FECES Y'ALL
09:52 Petty larceny....b & e....bunnies....the rapsheet just goes on and on with this guy.
10:02 Pause....we'll give you a minute to go and vomit
10:22 As Gary says " I fought the bunnies and they eventually overpowered me and took over my home"
10:36 "No I'm not."
11:32 At this point we're opening up the over/under on dead bodies in Hanna's house at 6
11:45 NO SMOKING - You can clearly tell the chickens wrote that.
11:52 "...specialize in OCD and Compulsive Hoarding...1,2,3...1,2,3...are you gonna throw that away?"
12:28 If you turn up your speakers really loud you can hear "Welcome to the Jungle Baby.....now you're gonna die...."
13:24 Excuse us but it shouldn't it be "Second time I saw one dead?" Stop hoarding bad English.
14:23 "I don't drink liquid chicken shit often...but when I do, I drink Hanna's liquid chicken shit"
15:56 At this point Cory called Misty on her cell from 2 feet away to turn on the fan.
16:35 At least the rabbits seem to be potty trained
17:10 He has a pretty awesome bunnypult so I'd watch my step back there.
17:25 I got's my bunnies, I got's my bejeweled....I don't need no damn shrink.
18:50 They've not once mentioned her hoarding of eggs!!
19:06 So you're saying that you're surprised that the woman who killed 6 of her own children, beat the other 10 so badly that they were removed from her care isn't showing the emotions you thought she would about people helping clean her house?
19:45 She fights kids, she fights goats, she fights chickens
19:45 Luwanda agrees
20:18 We can't believe people willingly come to clean these homes on Hoarders. We both agree we would have been like "Fuck you Matt....no way, I'm going to work at McDonalds". Working on that crew should be court-ordered.
20:51 She's pregnant cause she couldn't get away from the other goat.
20:52 through 21:45 We have no words
22:31 Seven. Seven times.
23:15 Hanna Badger don't care.....Hanna Badger don't give a shit.
23:45 They should change the side of those trucks to read 1-800-What the fuck?
24:13 That's not ice...it's rabbit shit.
24:55 Dorothy needs to take it down a notch.
25:40 The water's for drinkin....the bleach is for the bunnies.....aim for the eyes.
26:50 Pause....can you spot the irony? Hand soap covered in shit.
27:03 We're both very surprised at how well Todd and Levana are taking this. Makes us wonder how bad THEIR house is?
28:13 There really shouldn't be a question about should they evict Gary and Kathy.....
28:50 Shit is about to go down....and not rabbit shit.
29:00 Or the producer....or the crew....or Steve the camera guy.
30:14 THEY"RE ALL SICK
30:21 Understatement of the Decade
31:23 We are shocked that Hanna's children do not deal well with conflict.
31:29 Wait....who the fuck is Bart?
31:45 "HEY WATCH OUT BART!" T-shirt GOLD
33:21 "We didn't land on Portage County Ohio....Portage County Ohio landed on us" - Bunny X
33:33 Probably from Gary.
34:19 They're using the term "cleaned" loosely
36:25 And we mean sick, this turkey was into some SICK shit....scat porn, beastiality (which to them is just called porn).
37:25 We just put on Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" and had a good cry
38:53 Is Hanna gonna have to choke a bitch?
39:00 Where's Bart when you need him?
40:16 WE PICKED THE BEST HOARDER EVAR YOU GUYS!!!
41:24 We're putting money on them finding out that Gary and Kathy have a kid....or had a kid.
43:17 Nope just funny.
End Credits
Hanna moved on to beating larger animals like mules and cows...She felt the smaller ones no longer offered up much of a challenge
Gary and Kathy moved in with Todd and Levana and started humping like rabbits.
Today we're going to attempt to get through an entire episode of A&E's Hoarders. This particular episode features a three legged goat/chicken enthusiast with a wicked right jab named Hanna, and a fun loving Ohio couple named Kathy and Gary who just can't get enough sweet bunny love.
Hoarders - Hanna/Kathy & Gary
"Compulsive Douchebaggery (two g's?) is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to point and laugh and lampoon those who are less fortunate."
"More than 3 million people are compulsive douchebags."
"Here's two of their blogs....."
01:29 We're gonna call bullshit on the "ridgerunning" and "stump-jumpin".....also the last "cotton-picking" was probably done by her grandparent's slaves....guessing she didn't fall too far of the genetic tree when it comes to physical dexterity.
01:30 COCK
01:45 Why is she feeding them handicapped grain.
01:53 Lawanda...Luanda....Lahwunda.....
01:58 Wheelchair'ing feed around a 4 1/2 acre farm?
02:10 "Hey, take off your shoes...this is semi-new dead cat hair"
02:15 "off to the right is our immovable wall of junk....and over here on your left is the guest immovable wall of junk"
02:30 If this house's a rockin MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CAUSE IT'S COMIN DOWN
02:55 sweet freedom. If you look closely you can see scrawled on the tupper ware in chicken scratch "Brooks wuz here"
03:30 "good thing to get out of that ol raggedy......aggedy trailer" See Hanna's still there mentally, she realized this was basic cable.
03:44 We could go the rest of our lives without ever knowing what behiggies (two g's?) are.
04:15 We figured out why the chickens are dying....she feeds them tide.
04:53 Luwanda don't take no shit! She has a tattoo above her udder that says "Goat Life"
05:01 So that's how you get 30inch biceps? Pushing a wheelchair around 4 acres and bitch slapping goats all day.
05:04 Hit pause.....whom does this remind you of? Think "Nah Clark, he's just under the table yakkin on a bone."
05:55 16 kids and 10 are still living......we are speechless. Although it's above 50% so we'll cut her some slack.
06:22 As long as it's in the confines of a 3 by 5 Rubbermaid tote.
06:45 If 6 of my brothers or sisters had died I would've said " I can't stand to see Mom live...."
Kathy & Gary or I GOT TOO MANY BUNNIES
07:05 "I got too many bunnies." Don't worry we're having the t-shirts printed now.
07:05 Gary seems a little nonchalant about having 6 MILLION GODDAMN BUNNIES
07:15 So in the plus column we have "wiggly nose".......
07:28 "They"? Gary? Really? Let's change that to "Gary says"...."Gary says that when bunnies do it....bunnies do it"
07:28 That t-shirt will be for sale as well
07:40 SHOCKER
07:52 This footage looks like the Blair Bunny Project.
08:15 Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll slowly die of asphyxiation from inhaling bunny shit....tomorrow....it's only a day away.
08:29 The Animal Protective League...which rents a room on the backside of the Justice League.
08:32 My friends call me "Bunny Wrangler" It's not about the money.....WIGGLY NOSES Y'ALL
09:10 We wonder if Jeff had taken the opportunity to be a little punny and tell the landlord that the situation was "hare-y"
09:10 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
09:12 WANDERING FECES Y'ALL
09:52 Petty larceny....b & e....bunnies....the rapsheet just goes on and on with this guy.
10:02 Pause....we'll give you a minute to go and vomit
10:22 As Gary says " I fought the bunnies and they eventually overpowered me and took over my home"
10:36 "No I'm not."
11:32 At this point we're opening up the over/under on dead bodies in Hanna's house at 6
11:45 NO SMOKING - You can clearly tell the chickens wrote that.
11:52 "...specialize in OCD and Compulsive Hoarding...1,2,3...1,2,3...are you gonna throw that away?"
12:28 If you turn up your speakers really loud you can hear "Welcome to the Jungle Baby.....now you're gonna die...."
13:24 Excuse us but it shouldn't it be "Second time I saw one dead?" Stop hoarding bad English.
14:23 "I don't drink liquid chicken shit often...but when I do, I drink Hanna's liquid chicken shit"
15:56 At this point Cory called Misty on her cell from 2 feet away to turn on the fan.
16:35 At least the rabbits seem to be potty trained
17:10 He has a pretty awesome bunnypult so I'd watch my step back there.
17:25 I got's my bunnies, I got's my bejeweled....I don't need no damn shrink.
18:50 They've not once mentioned her hoarding of eggs!!
19:06 So you're saying that you're surprised that the woman who killed 6 of her own children, beat the other 10 so badly that they were removed from her care isn't showing the emotions you thought she would about people helping clean her house?
19:45 She fights kids, she fights goats, she fights chickens
19:45 Luwanda agrees
20:18 We can't believe people willingly come to clean these homes on Hoarders. We both agree we would have been like "Fuck you Matt....no way, I'm going to work at McDonalds". Working on that crew should be court-ordered.
20:51 She's pregnant cause she couldn't get away from the other goat.
20:52 through 21:45 We have no words
22:31 Seven. Seven times.
23:15 Hanna Badger don't care.....Hanna Badger don't give a shit.
23:45 They should change the side of those trucks to read 1-800-What the fuck?
24:13 That's not ice...it's rabbit shit.
24:55 Dorothy needs to take it down a notch.
25:40 The water's for drinkin....the bleach is for the bunnies.....aim for the eyes.
26:50 Pause....can you spot the irony? Hand soap covered in shit.
27:03 We're both very surprised at how well Todd and Levana are taking this. Makes us wonder how bad THEIR house is?
28:13 There really shouldn't be a question about should they evict Gary and Kathy.....
28:50 Shit is about to go down....and not rabbit shit.
29:00 Or the producer....or the crew....or Steve the camera guy.
30:14 THEY"RE ALL SICK
30:21 Understatement of the Decade
31:23 We are shocked that Hanna's children do not deal well with conflict.
31:29 Wait....who the fuck is Bart?
31:45 "HEY WATCH OUT BART!" T-shirt GOLD
33:21 "We didn't land on Portage County Ohio....Portage County Ohio landed on us" - Bunny X
33:33 Probably from Gary.
34:19 They're using the term "cleaned" loosely
36:25 And we mean sick, this turkey was into some SICK shit....scat porn, beastiality (which to them is just called porn).
37:25 We just put on Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" and had a good cry
38:53 Is Hanna gonna have to choke a bitch?
39:00 Where's Bart when you need him?
40:16 WE PICKED THE BEST HOARDER EVAR YOU GUYS!!!
41:24 We're putting money on them finding out that Gary and Kathy have a kid....or had a kid.
43:17 Nope just funny.
End Credits
Hanna moved on to beating larger animals like mules and cows...She felt the smaller ones no longer offered up much of a challenge
Gary and Kathy moved in with Todd and Levana and started humping like rabbits.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Live Action Blog with Cory Dodson
Tits and Other Boobs or Love and Other Drugs....a live blog event by Misty Mills and Cory Dodson
This is our first attempt at live blogging. We've both done some tape-delay gigs in the past but the real money is in "live events". Most likely you won't understand any of what follows if you haven't seen the movie Love and Other Drugs. Obviously the best way to read this is while watching the movie. Also, if you could not have anyone close to you that has Parkinson's would be another good way to watch it. . We both know this is a horrible disease....we both also have sick, twisted senses of humor....so there's your warning. We are not claiming to be good people or good writers....so please enjoy.
00:00 Cory's suggestion to watch the movie topless in honor of the impending breast bonanza is denied.
00:01 Rated R for rots of roobies - Scooby Doo doing the ratings announcement
1:12 What's up with the boom box? Is this Jake Gyllenhall - N - Play?
2:50 This is the first time anyone's ever fucked to the song "Two Princes"
4:57 A budget of 35 million dollars and that's the best actor you can pull for the brother? Assuming Jack Black was unavailable?
*I will say his role was probably the most enjoyable of the movie.
7:14 I know this movie takes place in 1994 but where did they find a StarTAC that still worked?
7:45 Join us Monday nights at 830 TLC for "The Pfizer Cheerleader Tryouts"
8:45 In a twist that was seen by literally everyone that has watched the movie...our main character Jake Gyllenhaal sleeps with the Pfizer instructor. Top Gun Similarity #1
9:00 Oliver Platt was available...shocker
13:04 "No one ever got laid goin dutch"...unless you're in Holland
14:30 Cory is disappointed that there's still no boobs...well actually Misty is disappointed too.
14:45 Calling a black receptionist "Stonewall"?....too soon
16:50 Apparently there's lots of mouth kissing in the drug rep world.
20:15 And the battle of the eyebrows commences....it's like 4 woolly caterpilars up there.
21:00 I wonder if Anne Hathaway and Steven Tyler ever had a taco eating contest. Seriously mesmerized by the size of that mouth.
21:30 BOOB
21:30 Paused while high-fives were exchanged.
21:32 Cory's suggestion to go topless the rest of the movie is denied.....again.
24:30 Brother's internet porn addiction? Neither Cory or Misty see a problem. Shocker.
26:16 Apparently Anne Hathaway shops barefoot at Wal-Mart.
27:00 Two black people outside a coffee shop with a pit bull?....so cliche
27:30 "You know what happens to cure Parkinson's ? Myyyy Cock..." Not actually in the movie. Guess who said it? (Cory said it)
28:00 We've decided Anne Hathaway has a floating jaw....like a boa constrictor eating an ostrich egg.
29:00 Parkinson's sex looks very stressful.
30:00 Wow.....I think we just saw what Jake Gyllenhaal had for lunch...by looking through his anus. Little much there Mr. Cinematographer.
31:00 We both agree at this point we would have texted a person we were dating that had Parkinson's with the following text like 87 times by now ..."What's shakin?"
31:30 Gay black cowboy at the coffee shop?...So cliche.
31:45 Misty lists the four stages of terminal cirrhosis : "my mom, my dad, my uncle , my grandpa"
33:00 Love being discussed...."Actually it was my 5th grade teacher, ever heard of Mary Kay Le Torneau? We had to move. I almost died from giving too many high fives."
38:55 Oh lord the talk...real feelings...need more boobs asap....losing interest
40:56 Parkinson's has to help in the hand job department....I mean all you really have to get is a semi-grip.
41:42 Are her boobs big or is it that she's skinny? Ladies and gentleman we present you with "The Boob Paradox." 5 minutes elapse whilst on pause....long discussion with the ultimate conclusion of that it doesn't really matter, they're still nice tits.
42:15 I wonder if Gyllenhall ever had Broke Back flashbacks? Who has better tits? Heath Ledger or Hathaway?
43:40 As Anne Hathaway lays seductively on the couch in only Jake Gyllenhaal's button up shirt, Cory theorizes that girls wearing a guys shirt and nothing else = super hot....guys wearing a shirt and nothing else just look like really fat toddlers.
45:25 Ahhh pop-tarts...... the Parkinson's afflicted kryptonite
46:34 We really think they could have saved money and had Oliver Platt play the roles of both the brother and the co-worker
49:00 I think Ice Man is gonna hit Maverick. Confrontation between blonde rival pharmaceutical rep and "Maverick" Jake Gyllenhaal. Top Gun Similarity #2.
52:03 Gettin a bit preachy with the Canada stuff here.....SOCIALIZED MEDICINE IS GOOD! AMERICA BAD!! WE GET IT!!
53:45 A bus full of dementia and Alzheimer riddled senior citizens heading to Canada to buy cheap meds has to be the most depressing bus of all time. We really need a tit pick me up.
54:45 Tit pick me up provided....although we can't decide if she's having an orgasm or if that's the Parkinson's?
56:04 Massive Penile Injury? Is there any other kind?
57:45 We can't believe the first bj has taken fifty seven minutes to come to fruition.
58:25 This movie has the worst cinematography. 5 minute discussion of the spelling of cinematography ensues. *Just a side note we both have severe ADHD.....(Cory doesn't but says he does to make Misty feel better).
60:00 MONTAGE!!!
60:01 It makes us soooo angry when they get non-Parkinson's people to play Parkinson's patients....."What do you mean shaky people? hnnhhh!" - Robert Downey Jr's cameo appearance was a surprise.
61:00 Pause in the action ....we just found out about the casey anthony verdict.....it's decided that we'd rather talk about Anne Hathaway's boobs.
62:00 2 minute pause while we consider a Broke Back Mountain/Love and Other Drugs mashup trailer.
63:00 Did he just do the "I'm dangerous" and click his teeth? If he says "you can be my wing man anytime " at the end of the movie, We will be soo not upset. Top Gun Similarity #3
64:30 If this bed's a shakin....get some more meds
67:00 This scene is too personal....the poor brother is caught masturbating. Stories THAT SHALL NOT LEAVE THIS APARTMENT are exchanged. Apologies issued...etc, etc....
69:27 As Anne struggles to open a pill bottle we wonder why aren't Parkinson's patient's pills kept in bowls? We don't have Parkinson's and it's hard for both of us to open up bottles.
73:00 Interesting point, how much was spent on the ruining of overalls on this movie? That's like 17 pairs so far. Is this the reason they couldn't cast Jack Black as the brother? The overall budget just ran too far over?
74:06 As Anne beats Jake down with a verbal assault we think this scene is the equivalent of a child throwing a rock at a dog to get it to leave ...yet with very shaky aim.
75:12 Parkinson's open mic night .....this thing on?
76:17 We've reached the point where we feel like we're being tricked now... We've been lured into caring about Parkinson's through Anne Hathaway's tits.
77:14 Seriously....who hurt you movie writer? Who hurt you?
77:30 Where's the tossed salad? - Parkinson's Conference buffet table humor.
81:30 Still with the StarTAC? I mean he has a Porsche?!?!!?
82:30 Over twenty minutes since our last boob....slowly losing interest...
84:13 "I'll need to get better in order for you to love me?" Totes busted......It's been decided, both Misty and Cory are emotionally dead inside.
88:17 Even though they were in a bra....we're back on track with the boobies.
89:14 How confident do you have to be to eat a sucker at a party? I've never been in any situation where I thought "Man I would look so much cooler with a sucker?"
90:45 Threesome scene.... and this just became the best movie ever.
91:37 Bullshit on that reaction....NO ONE leaves a threesome with a boner...even if it's life threatening.
95:02 Kevin Bacon just got dissed so hard.
95:47 Another "What's shakin?" opportunity missed.
101:01 Only one person on this bus is going to remember this speech.
104;00 The emotional impact of this scene has left us speechless.....or we just remembered the cookies from lunch.
105:17 Unfortunately due to your advanced Parkinson's im gonna need you to answer verbally...I can't tell if that's a yes or no
107:00 They really should've been playin Jenga there.
End Credits.....
We conclude that Regina Spektor had Parkinson's when she sang this song......
So this concludes our live blog of Love and Other Drugs. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed doing it. (That's what she said).
And to prove we're not total jerks....below you'll find a link to donate to help research Parkinson's
This is our first attempt at live blogging. We've both done some tape-delay gigs in the past but the real money is in "live events". Most likely you won't understand any of what follows if you haven't seen the movie Love and Other Drugs. Obviously the best way to read this is while watching the movie. Also, if you could not have anyone close to you that has Parkinson's would be another good way to watch it. . We both know this is a horrible disease....we both also have sick, twisted senses of humor....so there's your warning. We are not claiming to be good people or good writers....so please enjoy.
00:00 Cory's suggestion to watch the movie topless in honor of the impending breast bonanza is denied.
00:01 Rated R for rots of roobies - Scooby Doo doing the ratings announcement
1:12 What's up with the boom box? Is this Jake Gyllenhall - N - Play?
2:50 This is the first time anyone's ever fucked to the song "Two Princes"
4:57 A budget of 35 million dollars and that's the best actor you can pull for the brother? Assuming Jack Black was unavailable?
*I will say his role was probably the most enjoyable of the movie.
7:14 I know this movie takes place in 1994 but where did they find a StarTAC that still worked?
7:45 Join us Monday nights at 830 TLC for "The Pfizer Cheerleader Tryouts"
8:45 In a twist that was seen by literally everyone that has watched the movie...our main character Jake Gyllenhaal sleeps with the Pfizer instructor. Top Gun Similarity #1
9:00 Oliver Platt was available...shocker
13:04 "No one ever got laid goin dutch"...unless you're in Holland
14:30 Cory is disappointed that there's still no boobs...well actually Misty is disappointed too.
14:45 Calling a black receptionist "Stonewall"?....too soon
16:50 Apparently there's lots of mouth kissing in the drug rep world.
20:15 And the battle of the eyebrows commences....it's like 4 woolly caterpilars up there.
21:00 I wonder if Anne Hathaway and Steven Tyler ever had a taco eating contest. Seriously mesmerized by the size of that mouth.
21:30 BOOB
21:30 Paused while high-fives were exchanged.
21:32 Cory's suggestion to go topless the rest of the movie is denied.....again.
24:30 Brother's internet porn addiction? Neither Cory or Misty see a problem. Shocker.
26:16 Apparently Anne Hathaway shops barefoot at Wal-Mart.
27:00 Two black people outside a coffee shop with a pit bull?....so cliche
27:30 "You know what happens to cure Parkinson's ? Myyyy Cock..." Not actually in the movie. Guess who said it? (Cory said it)
28:00 We've decided Anne Hathaway has a floating jaw....like a boa constrictor eating an ostrich egg.
29:00 Parkinson's sex looks very stressful.
30:00 Wow.....I think we just saw what Jake Gyllenhaal had for lunch...by looking through his anus. Little much there Mr. Cinematographer.
31:00 We both agree at this point we would have texted a person we were dating that had Parkinson's with the following text like 87 times by now ..."What's shakin?"
31:30 Gay black cowboy at the coffee shop?...So cliche.
31:45 Misty lists the four stages of terminal cirrhosis : "my mom, my dad, my uncle , my grandpa"
33:00 Love being discussed...."Actually it was my 5th grade teacher, ever heard of Mary Kay Le Torneau? We had to move. I almost died from giving too many high fives."
38:55 Oh lord the talk...real feelings...need more boobs asap....losing interest
40:56 Parkinson's has to help in the hand job department....I mean all you really have to get is a semi-grip.
41:42 Are her boobs big or is it that she's skinny? Ladies and gentleman we present you with "The Boob Paradox." 5 minutes elapse whilst on pause....long discussion with the ultimate conclusion of that it doesn't really matter, they're still nice tits.
42:15 I wonder if Gyllenhall ever had Broke Back flashbacks? Who has better tits? Heath Ledger or Hathaway?
43:40 As Anne Hathaway lays seductively on the couch in only Jake Gyllenhaal's button up shirt, Cory theorizes that girls wearing a guys shirt and nothing else = super hot....guys wearing a shirt and nothing else just look like really fat toddlers.
45:25 Ahhh pop-tarts...... the Parkinson's afflicted kryptonite
46:34 We really think they could have saved money and had Oliver Platt play the roles of both the brother and the co-worker
49:00 I think Ice Man is gonna hit Maverick. Confrontation between blonde rival pharmaceutical rep and "Maverick" Jake Gyllenhaal. Top Gun Similarity #2.
52:03 Gettin a bit preachy with the Canada stuff here.....SOCIALIZED MEDICINE IS GOOD! AMERICA BAD!! WE GET IT!!
53:45 A bus full of dementia and Alzheimer riddled senior citizens heading to Canada to buy cheap meds has to be the most depressing bus of all time. We really need a tit pick me up.
54:45 Tit pick me up provided....although we can't decide if she's having an orgasm or if that's the Parkinson's?
56:04 Massive Penile Injury? Is there any other kind?
57:45 We can't believe the first bj has taken fifty seven minutes to come to fruition.
58:25 This movie has the worst cinematography. 5 minute discussion of the spelling of cinematography ensues. *Just a side note we both have severe ADHD.....(Cory doesn't but says he does to make Misty feel better).
60:00 MONTAGE!!!
60:01 It makes us soooo angry when they get non-Parkinson's people to play Parkinson's patients....."What do you mean shaky people? hnnhhh!" - Robert Downey Jr's cameo appearance was a surprise.
61:00 Pause in the action ....we just found out about the casey anthony verdict.....it's decided that we'd rather talk about Anne Hathaway's boobs.
62:00 2 minute pause while we consider a Broke Back Mountain/Love and Other Drugs mashup trailer.
63:00 Did he just do the "I'm dangerous" and click his teeth? If he says "you can be my wing man anytime " at the end of the movie, We will be soo not upset. Top Gun Similarity #3
64:30 If this bed's a shakin....get some more meds
67:00 This scene is too personal....the poor brother is caught masturbating. Stories THAT SHALL NOT LEAVE THIS APARTMENT are exchanged. Apologies issued...etc, etc....
69:27 As Anne struggles to open a pill bottle we wonder why aren't Parkinson's patient's pills kept in bowls? We don't have Parkinson's and it's hard for both of us to open up bottles.
73:00 Interesting point, how much was spent on the ruining of overalls on this movie? That's like 17 pairs so far. Is this the reason they couldn't cast Jack Black as the brother? The overall budget just ran too far over?
74:06 As Anne beats Jake down with a verbal assault we think this scene is the equivalent of a child throwing a rock at a dog to get it to leave ...yet with very shaky aim.
75:12 Parkinson's open mic night .....this thing on?
76:17 We've reached the point where we feel like we're being tricked now... We've been lured into caring about Parkinson's through Anne Hathaway's tits.
77:14 Seriously....who hurt you movie writer? Who hurt you?
77:30 Where's the tossed salad? - Parkinson's Conference buffet table humor.
81:30 Still with the StarTAC? I mean he has a Porsche?!?!!?
82:30 Over twenty minutes since our last boob....slowly losing interest...
84:13 "I'll need to get better in order for you to love me?" Totes busted......It's been decided, both Misty and Cory are emotionally dead inside.
88:17 Even though they were in a bra....we're back on track with the boobies.
89:14 How confident do you have to be to eat a sucker at a party? I've never been in any situation where I thought "Man I would look so much cooler with a sucker?"
90:45 Threesome scene.... and this just became the best movie ever.
91:37 Bullshit on that reaction....NO ONE leaves a threesome with a boner...even if it's life threatening.
95:02 Kevin Bacon just got dissed so hard.
95:47 Another "What's shakin?" opportunity missed.
101:01 Only one person on this bus is going to remember this speech.
104;00 The emotional impact of this scene has left us speechless.....or we just remembered the cookies from lunch.
105:17 Unfortunately due to your advanced Parkinson's im gonna need you to answer verbally...I can't tell if that's a yes or no
107:00 They really should've been playin Jenga there.
End Credits.....
We conclude that Regina Spektor had Parkinson's when she sang this song......
So this concludes our live blog of Love and Other Drugs. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed doing it. (That's what she said).
And to prove we're not total jerks....below you'll find a link to donate to help research Parkinson's
To Mrs. Trotter, With Love
Immediately after someone passes away it begins. The romanticising. What they did wrong becomes a 'quirk', all they did right becomes heroic and if there were ever any hurt feelings, they soon fall to the wayside and memories of the good times are recalled with ease and joy. This helps us heal and move forward. Janet is no different. She had her quirks and her shortcomings that we'll all smooth over to remember her in a more perfect light.
In the short time I knew her, she was never anything less than larger than life. The fact that she's gone leaves me aching for a little bit of her sunshine in the form of a loud laugh, a sweet hug or some offhand observation that could only have come from Janet's brain. She was encouragement when everyone else said it was a bad idea. When everyone else was begging me to put down the beer and come down from the edge of the deck, Janet was cheering me on and telling me I could totally do a cartwheel up there...Her Dane had built it sturdy and she was sure it would hold my weight.
She laughed it off when, after she had bedded down for one of her world famous 'power naps', we completely rearranged the decor in her living room and kitchen. She had to spend the next day putting everything back into it's place. She only giggled when the very next weekend she awoke to find we'd dug her Christmas decorations out of her attic, including a 4" tall snowman and put them up around the fireplace. But the third time she fell asleep and we went a little wild at her place, she sent us a grossly inappropriate and pissy text the next morning that had us all in stitches.
She was the type of person who said, 'Dane, change the music, the neighbors are gonna think we hate black people!' when he played too much Lynard Skynard. And, 'the bigger the hair, the closer you are to God!' She was a hoot. She was a card. She was a pill. She was a hot mess. But she was our hot mess.
She loved teaching and she loved her kids. The thought of making a difference in their lives was a point of pride for her. My son was one of her students and I can honestly say from a parents perspective, that he was lucky to have someone who cared the way she did.
Janet, know that I appreciate more than I can put into words your kindness and concern for me and my family. I will miss you and will never again be able to hear a Jagged Edge song without laughing so hard I pee my pants a little.
In the short time I knew her, she was never anything less than larger than life. The fact that she's gone leaves me aching for a little bit of her sunshine in the form of a loud laugh, a sweet hug or some offhand observation that could only have come from Janet's brain. She was encouragement when everyone else said it was a bad idea. When everyone else was begging me to put down the beer and come down from the edge of the deck, Janet was cheering me on and telling me I could totally do a cartwheel up there...Her Dane had built it sturdy and she was sure it would hold my weight.
She laughed it off when, after she had bedded down for one of her world famous 'power naps', we completely rearranged the decor in her living room and kitchen. She had to spend the next day putting everything back into it's place. She only giggled when the very next weekend she awoke to find we'd dug her Christmas decorations out of her attic, including a 4" tall snowman and put them up around the fireplace. But the third time she fell asleep and we went a little wild at her place, she sent us a grossly inappropriate and pissy text the next morning that had us all in stitches.
She was the type of person who said, 'Dane, change the music, the neighbors are gonna think we hate black people!' when he played too much Lynard Skynard. And, 'the bigger the hair, the closer you are to God!' She was a hoot. She was a card. She was a pill. She was a hot mess. But she was our hot mess.
She loved teaching and she loved her kids. The thought of making a difference in their lives was a point of pride for her. My son was one of her students and I can honestly say from a parents perspective, that he was lucky to have someone who cared the way she did.
Janet, know that I appreciate more than I can put into words your kindness and concern for me and my family. I will miss you and will never again be able to hear a Jagged Edge song without laughing so hard I pee my pants a little.
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