Monday, September 19, 2011
Facebook: ReAsOnS wE hAtE yOu
Let’s take a trip back to 1992. You’re tired, you’re walking in the door after a long day at work to find that your spouse has made a wonderfully delicious pot roast. Now, back then, do you think you would have ever run straight to the mailbox and mailed a letter to all of your friends about how “great” that pot roast was? So why do people feel the need to post “Pot roast…Yummy!” on Facebook now?
This is just one in a long line of many breaches of “Facebook etiquette.” Before you get all hot and bothered we are all guilty of occasionally breaking these rules, but some of us out there are habitual offenders. What we’re going to attempt in this edition of the Chex and the Pity/Mills FamilyFunhouse guest blog is hopefully give everyone a kind of what NOT to do manual for the world of social networking, specifically Facebook (because MySpace is dead and not enough of you use Twitter)
Again….we know we violate these rules from time to time as well so save your damn emails….
Up first we have some minor offenses….
Food - Thanks so much for telling us what you had for dinner, who prepared it for you and the step by step rundown of how they created the miracle that was your last meal. No. One. Cares. General rule of thumb: if it's gonna be shit in 2 hours, we don’t need a status update about it. Unacceptable phrases include any variation of “Yummo” “So delicious” and “Fucking better than Scarlett Johannsens’s nude pics”….actually that last variation is ok.
Mundane- If you can’t think of anything interesting to say, it's perfectly ok to leave it blank. There honestly isn’t a troll that’s going to pop out of your computer or phone and bite you in the junk because you haven’t updated your status in two hours. Our mothers both used to say if you don’t have anything to say for fucks sake please post something about how stupid you think the new Color Me Bad* video is. Christ in a dump truck, just leave it blank.
*In all honesty, our mothers only said this once. (Sept 1991)
Vague- What can’t you believe?!?! Who just showed up?!?!? What the fuck is a TRUMANG?!? If you have to answer a question about your status in the comments then you probably shouldn’t have posted anything in the first place.
Friend Requesting Etiquette - There should be a minimum of 2 social interactions before a friend request is sent. However, there are exceptions to this rule such as if you have 189 friends in common or if a friend suggests another friend to you for dating purposes. Also, If you hooked up with a person the night before…it’s a general rule that if you’ve seen each other naked we think it’s ok if you see each other’s Halloween ’08 pics.
Kids - Do not let your kids send friend requests to grownups they barely know. You can’t expect us to censor ourselves just because your 9 yr old shouldn’t be reading updates about rolling on X and beastiality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. That’s on you. We don’t need to hear about every bowel movement or accident your newborn has either. Teenagers fall into this category too. So if you have a teenager please make sure that they’re not friends with either of us. They are absolutely atrocious on social networks. No OnE WaNtS tO rEaD aNyThINg WhEn It LoOkS LiKe ThIs.
Spam - WOW! I CANT BELIEVE I CAN ACTUALLY SEE WHO'S BEEN CREEPIN ME ON FB! JUST CLICK THIS LINK TO FIND OUT WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO LOOK IN THE EYE AGAIN!! Do not click the link it doesn’t work, its spam. One aside here, this is actually a good indicator of how many of your friends are actively looking at porn sites. If we had to ballpark it we’d say 100% of your friends look at porn, present company included. With that being said, we’d like to go on record and say that website had a disclaimer saying the girls were 18 and the cat was already dead your honor.
Updated Profile Pictures – What used to be called “MySpace Voodoo” has now become an epidemic on Facebook. No one likes being fooled. So if you’ve got that one picture of you in a bikini from 10 years ago where you’re looking fine as hell….don’t use it as your profile picture now that you’ve been married/divorced with 7 kids and put on 75 pounds.
Creating Events/Inviting to Events – It’s great that you’re involved in charities. It’s even great that you want us to come to your charitable event. What’s not great is inviting all 897 friends to your son’s/daughter’s Cowboy Birthday Party. There better be booze and strippers. If there are then we’ll even bring a present*
*The present is lots and lots of 1’s.
Married People With Joint Accounts - If you can’t trust each other enough to allow separate Facebook pages, maybe you should call it a day. If you're seriously that worried about your spouse being unfaithful, let us just break it down for you.. Where there's a supply closet and will, there is a way. Your boo don’t need Facebook to cheat. Guys that agree to this…you’re effectively saying “My wife has my balls in her purse. I do not have access to them right now, but if you send me a message I’ll ask her if I can use them and get back to you.”
'We're sooo in love' wall posts - Come on people, get real. Chances are you aren’t even going to be dating/married to that person in 2 years so why waste your valuable time and 140 precious character spaces trying to convince your Facebook friends that they are your perfect soul mate? Since when do our intimate relationships require posting “my hubby/wife is the bestest” to all 581 of our closest friends? If you’re going to post the good you might as well post the bad. “Couldn’t watch the second half of the game tonight because the cunt wanted to watch god damn CSI:Albuquerque”
Constant changing of the relationship status - We get it..your love life is a hot mess. We’re really not sure why you do it, but understand this: You get a little pity the first time, then you get hidden. We don’t change our status every time Misty feels the need to smother her husband as he sleeps or every time Cory has to write a personal check for the hooker’s divorce lawyer for two reasons: 1) We don’t have that kind of time 2) We know that our Facebook friends do not give a crap.
Pets – You love your pet. Nothing wrong with that. Posting 72 pictures of your dog laying on the couch….72 pictures of your dog laying in the grass….or 72 pictures of your dog licking peanut butter off your…..you get the picture. It’s a little much. There needs to be a separate Facebook for kids and pets. One that is far,far away from us.
Favorite Quotes Section - If you have any quotes that can be attributed to yourself or any of your friends, take them down. No one knows the context, no one gives a shit that your friend Sully said “NO I SAID THE PAINT WAS CRACKED”…..you hear that sound? That’s no one caring.
Now we’ll move onto some MAJOR violations. These will get you hidden in a heartbeat….repeat offenders are likely to be even ….*gasp*…..unfriended.
Menstruation and/or Bowel Habits - Seriously people…do we need to go over this? As a general rule of thumb if anything is secreted out of any orifice on your body whether it be blood , mucus, or feces, no one else wants to know about it. Promise. Cross our hearts. Hope to die. Stick a giant needle in your eye if you tell us you left a giant curler in the bowl at work again.
“like” Whores- You ever notice on one of your friend’s pages how one certain person likes every single one of a their posts and you think it’s weird because you know for a fact that they don’t hang out together. If it comes to the point where someone has literally stopped posting just so that you won’t have anything to like on their page then we’re pretty sure the terrorists have won. Don’t make them block you. That being said, please continue to “like” each and every one of our posts.
Bible Verses/Famous/Cliché Quotes – We here at Chex & the Pity and MillsFamilyFunhouse both agree that like the separation of Church and State there should be separation of Church and Facebook. Don’t take this the wrong way, we’re both in the same boat as the Doobie Brothers in that Jesus is just alright with us (oh yeah)….but there comes a point in time where if after reading your posts on Facebook we put a few dollars in a plate in the pantry and start thinking about where to beat the lunch crowds (Western Sizzlin is good if you get there before 1215 on Sunday)…it has to be toned down….a lot.
Also if all you can do is quote Marilyn Monroe or Rev Run then maybe posting on social networking sites just isn’t for you. Do us a favor and throw in a Charles Manson or two…at least you’ll know if anyone is paying attention to you after that. Answer: probably still no one. Seriously, you lost them after the 87th consecutive Marilyn Monroe quote. And by the way, who is supposed to be inspired by a self-admitted one trick pony who only got famous because she slept her way into acting and banged the president then committed suicide….real inspirational there.
Passive Aggressive - The mother of all inappropriateness on Facebook….the passive-aggressive post. If you’re constantly bitching and moaning about “something” that “someone” has done or is doing….if you’re whining about how you can’t understand why you’re still single….if you’re basically being just a huge gaping asshole on the internet, please do us all a favor and go back to MySpace. We’re not gonna name any names here but YOU know who YOU are.
Creating Facebook Pages for Dead People - So what could be more fitting than honoring your friend or loved one that hated social media and made a conscientious decision not to have a facebook page with a facebook page...post mortem. We are soooo gonna haunt your ass after we pass on. Those creepy noises in the night and cryptic messages written in peanut butter on your bathroom mirror….that’s us. Hi.
Checking In Everywhere - If you can give us one good reason why you are irrationally compelled to tell everyone you've ever met that you're at Wendy's (for the second time today, wth?) We won’t punch you in the face. Do you want stalkers? We have a few “like” whores that we can send your way. Wendy’s would be an odd place to die.
Pictures and Knowing the Difference Between Appropriate and Inappropriate – It's bad enough spending the night in the drunk tank and having to come up with yet another $390 for bail, but to come home and have to untag yourself from 57 potentially incriminating photos on your page really irks us. Knock it off or we’re posting that one of you and the midget stripper that stole your Visa card.
If you Love Jesus/Hate Obama/Hate Cancer/Support Our Troops then repost this…. – Have you ever met anyone …ANYONE that did not support the troops or hate cancer? Besides the Westboro Baptist Church? Ok then, let’s just all agree here and now that WE SUPPORT THE TROOPS and we fucking hate cancer. We’ve already mentioned that Jesus is just alright with us (oh yeah) and hell we can even support thinking that you have a great sister/husband/father/wife/brother. But don’t ask us to repost something just to make you feel better about your own situation.
Parents - Listen, Mom/Dad….what we post on Facebook is mostly nonsense. It’s almost never , repeat never about you. So while you might feel the need to comment on a status here and there, that’s fine. Just don’t interpret any post about burying dead hookers as a mom issue ok?
Debbie downers – We all have bad days. It’s ok to vent a little frustration every now and then. But if your life sucks so bad that you have never once posted a positive status update, you might wanna re-evaluate your life. How many days in a row do you feel the need to let us know that you’re “having one of those days”? Step away from the computer and get some help, preferably in the form of electric shock therapy or a lobotomy.
Politics – Oh man those Bush/Obama jokes really kill me. Politics are like religion when it comes to Facebook and life in general….no one is ever going to agree. At this point in our lives, it’s very rare that you’re going to convert anyone to the other side. So why try? We can both sit online and spout facts that prove/disprove each other til we’re as blue in the face as that dude in that weatherman’s bathtub in Maumelle, it’s not going to change anything. Leave it be.
Games - This used to be a much larger issue. Gone are the days where you could read 17 posts in a row about finding a stray cow or someone needing “coins” to build that lattice field around their crops. Although it was always funny to come home and see 87 posts about a current news topic and mom’s post about “Does anyone have any carrot seeds?”. Seriously, if you’re playing games on Facebook and posting them on your own wall or others….you need to get back on WOW where you belong and stop terrorizing the rest of us non gamers.
So there you have it. Some basic guidelines to what we find awful about you on Facebook. Just kidding we don’t think you’re awful.
And yes, we know that we are just as guilty as anyone else about some of these so please….DO NOT SEND US A GOD DAMN EMAIL SAYING “ HEY YOU POSTED SOMETHING ABOUT KIDS YESTERDAY HAHAHAHAHA”
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Hallmark Cards for the real world
Welcome to another collaborative effort from Misty Mills and ChexandThePity.wordpress.com. This week we’re going to try and not offend anyone…kidding.
Have you ever found yourself wishing you had a Hallmark Card for a situation that Hallmark would never make a card for? We got ya covered. The following are our submissions to Hallmark. (We expect the cease and desist orders to come in the mail any day now)
Want to break up with a friend for their taste in pop culture/entertainment? Try these cards on for size:
“I'm sorry you like Tyler Perry Movies. I’m also sorry I didn’t find this out sooner. I feel used. I’m un-friending you on facebook. “
“Congratulations on attending a recent Nickelback concert. Hopefully you contracted some form of Hepatitis. The form that keeps you from breathing.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue….soccer sucks….and so do you. Sorry bro, the only football we’re gonna watch the rest of the year involves cheerleaders and tackling.”
“Dear Steve*, Although we’re all super impressed with your Michael Phelp’s like lung capacity we can longer have you over on Wednesday night’s unless you buy the weed. “
This card only available to friends who know Steve. God damn does he mess up the rotation or what?
" I know the divorce was hard on you and your dog just died, but we're gonna have to kick you out of the group. You're a total downer. I didnt want to mention it, but the weight gain and the Beiber fetish are also big no-no's"
"You're dumb. I can't take it anymore. Do me a solid and read a fuckin book. Twilight doesnt count."
Have that type of family that regular sappy cards just aren't cutting it for? How about these:
“Happy Third Anniversary! We never thought you’d make it this long, especially after finding out you two were related.”
“Congratulations on finding out you had a sister....that's dead. I’m sure you two would have really been close.”
“Dearest Uncle, Heard about your recent DWI. Just wanted to say I’m amazed by your commitment to your craft. Most people would have given up after 3.”
“Congrats on getting a cell in the State Pen instead of Federal. Not only will you be closer for visits but you might know the person that sodomizes you nightly!”
“Sweet Nephew, The rest of us just want you to know that it’s ok if you’re gay. We’ve actually all known for some time now. The vacations to Amsterdam, trips to Key West and never being able to do anything the nights that Glee is on are kind of hard signals to miss. We won’t love you any less….unless your boyfriend’s black.”
“Congratulations on giving birth to the most…..most…..ah screw it, congrats on giving birth to the second coming of News of the World’s Bat Boy……Christ in a dumptruck that kid’s ugly. When you’re here for Thanksgiving please find a room at the Motel 6. We don’t want that beast scaring our perfectly normal children.”
"YOU DID IT! We're so proud to hear the fourth stint in rehab took! I'm not even mad I lost that $200!"
"Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's my hottest cousin of all?! YOU, SILLY! " -I'll be shocked if you dont get 'most boneable' again this year at the reunion."
What about the new wave of Holidays that have cropped up in recent years? Tired of sending the same old boring Christmas cards? Might we suggest these fine substitutes:
“Happy MLK Day! Please enjoy the package of cookies we sent with this card!”*
*This one’s for your dyslexic/racist friends that although they realize it’s Martin
Luther King Jr Day, fail to realize the card they bought doesn’t say MILK.
“Happy Kwanza! I don’t even know what this means but I know that you’re black and a black guy at my office mentioned Kwanza….soooo…..Have fun at your holiday. Word.”
"Happy Administrative Professionals Day! Apparently, that's the new fancy way to say 'secretary'. I like it. Has a nice ring. Any word yet on the fancy way to say 'get off your ass, fax that file and have a turkey club in my office before I bust that 'worlds best mom' mug over your abnormally small peanut shaped head?"
Tired of getting the same old boring cards for co-workers? Spice up your employment with our help:
“Dear Co-Worker, thanks for leaving your facebook up at lunch. Now your cunt of a grandmother knows you’re coming home for Christmas as a furry….You’re Welcome!”
“Congratulations on not seeing any ghosts in rehab this time. We’re all super excited about you being back at work. We’ve moved your pens and pencils over to the supply cabinet though….just in case.”
“Thanks for eating the last donut lard ass. There were people who hadn’t even had a chance to get one, yet you thought it was just fine to make 4 trips to the break room before 8. Hope your cardiologist gets hit by a bus.”
“We're so relieved to hear that your rapid weight loss was due to a parisitic infection instead of the AIDS we had feared.”
“Sorry to hear your band’s gig got bumped this weekend. I’m sure your 23 minute guitar solo in your cover of Comfortably Numb was righteous. Don’t bother telling me when it’s rescheduled for. I value my eardrums.”
"Thanks for thinking of me, but no, I dont want to buy any crap to support your kids school. It's a waste of money. My advice would be to take him out of school and start prepping him for his future of appearing on all the reality shows involving Dr Drew."
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Oh, Lord!
Im prefacing this post with a simple fact: I am in no way doubting there is a God that answers prayers. I am a believer. I drank the Kool Aid and I have been washed in the very smelly, warm blood of the lamb. I tell you that to tell you this...
Tonight I read the status update of a family member and I literally laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. Ladies and Gents, I give you THE status update:
Tonight I read the status update of a family member and I literally laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. Ladies and Gents, I give you THE status update:
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Viewers Choice! First Annual In's and Out's Q&A blog!
It's time to get interactive, yo. This is my blog, so obviously, I pick the topics... UNTIL NOW!! Tell me what you wanna read about and consider it done! You wanna know what I think about Casey Anthony? How about my take on Wikileaks? Ke$ha's VD infested snatch VS. Lady Gaga's acid trip of a face? Are you curious to know if I wear boxers or briefs or if really kill hobos for fun? Come at me with your best questions and most interesting topics and I'll tackle 'em all.
I'll be enlisting the help of my friend and co-blogger Cory Dodson for this project as I have on a few of my more recent blogs. In case you have no idea where this person came from, a little back story on the phenom that is Cory: He's a dude. He worked for the same company I did 5 years ago and after noticing he was ridiculousy funny, I made him be my friend. (Emphasis on 'made', he did not volunteer his friendship. Im pretty convincing when I wanna be.) We've been thick as thieves since and have decided that working a regular 9-5 is just not for us. Our day jobs need to be sitting around sharing our thoughts and opinions with the world and getting paid large sums of money for it. (Which we will inevitably pump back into the economy via late night trips to EZ Mart and Taco Bueno.)
This blog post will be my love letter to the loyal readers of In's and Out's. Maybe you have a great story that Im some how involved in but don't quite remember? Remind me! I'll change all the parts about 'coke and whores' to 'puppies and kittens' and run with it! Comment on this post with your questions or ideas and I'll make sure I cover that topic or stealthily evade answering your way too personal questions in a humorous way. ;) Til then, I love you all! - M&M
I'll be enlisting the help of my friend and co-blogger Cory Dodson for this project as I have on a few of my more recent blogs. In case you have no idea where this person came from, a little back story on the phenom that is Cory: He's a dude. He worked for the same company I did 5 years ago and after noticing he was ridiculousy funny, I made him be my friend. (Emphasis on 'made', he did not volunteer his friendship. Im pretty convincing when I wanna be.) We've been thick as thieves since and have decided that working a regular 9-5 is just not for us. Our day jobs need to be sitting around sharing our thoughts and opinions with the world and getting paid large sums of money for it. (Which we will inevitably pump back into the economy via late night trips to EZ Mart and Taco Bueno.)
This blog post will be my love letter to the loyal readers of In's and Out's. Maybe you have a great story that Im some how involved in but don't quite remember? Remind me! I'll change all the parts about 'coke and whores' to 'puppies and kittens' and run with it! Comment on this post with your questions or ideas and I'll make sure I cover that topic or stealthily evade answering your way too personal questions in a humorous way. ;) Til then, I love you all! - M&M
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Putting the 'Die' in 'Diet'
Seriously...Who would willingly take a pill that caused intense stomach cramping, horrid b.o., dry mouth, excessive sweating, headaches and heart palpitations? Short answer: Me.
I've put on a few lbs over the last 2 years (20, to be exact, fml) and I really need to get it gone. Bustin ass 24/7 at the gym wasnt cutting it. Some say I must have been doing it wrong but I figured even if I was doing it wrong, surely Id have seen a TINY bit of improvement after 4 months... Nope.
That's why Im moving on to legal crack. (Legal Crack = 'Crack' you can buy at any health food/ fitness center) In addition to taking every vitamin or mineral thought to boost metabolism and energy levels, Im now ingesting what I can only assume is some form of Drain-O twice a day. I can actually feel my liver and kidneys failing, but Im no quitter, folks. I gave the gym it's fair shake, now Im riding this out until Im thin or my heart explodes.
Sad part is, Im not even shooting for some unrealistic # that would leave me looking emaciated and able to slice cheese with my collar bones. Im just trying to get back to a reasonable, 'healthy' weight. (Have I mentioned fml?)
My only other alternative is to hire a midget to literally follow me around and slap the food from my hands. I get that being healthy and thin is a 'lifestyle', but my life consists of fast food on the go, 3 picky kids that wont eat anything green unless it's a booger or some Nickelodeon brand of candy and a husband that eats 24/7 in hopes of gaining a pound. The deck is stacked against me but im determined to see this through.
Hopefully the weight loss wont take long because I dont think my cadiovascular system can handle much more of this. Then again, it's probably no more overworked than the seams of my favorite pair of jeans. :/
I've put on a few lbs over the last 2 years (20, to be exact, fml) and I really need to get it gone. Bustin ass 24/7 at the gym wasnt cutting it. Some say I must have been doing it wrong but I figured even if I was doing it wrong, surely Id have seen a TINY bit of improvement after 4 months... Nope.
That's why Im moving on to legal crack. (Legal Crack = 'Crack' you can buy at any health food/ fitness center) In addition to taking every vitamin or mineral thought to boost metabolism and energy levels, Im now ingesting what I can only assume is some form of Drain-O twice a day. I can actually feel my liver and kidneys failing, but Im no quitter, folks. I gave the gym it's fair shake, now Im riding this out until Im thin or my heart explodes.
Sad part is, Im not even shooting for some unrealistic # that would leave me looking emaciated and able to slice cheese with my collar bones. Im just trying to get back to a reasonable, 'healthy' weight. (Have I mentioned fml?)
My only other alternative is to hire a midget to literally follow me around and slap the food from my hands. I get that being healthy and thin is a 'lifestyle', but my life consists of fast food on the go, 3 picky kids that wont eat anything green unless it's a booger or some Nickelodeon brand of candy and a husband that eats 24/7 in hopes of gaining a pound. The deck is stacked against me but im determined to see this through.
Hopefully the weight loss wont take long because I dont think my cadiovascular system can handle much more of this. Then again, it's probably no more overworked than the seams of my favorite pair of jeans. :/
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Misty and Cory Live Action Blog Hoarders.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/248352/hoarders-hannakathy-and-gary
Today we're going to attempt to get through an entire episode of A&E's Hoarders. This particular episode features a three legged goat/chicken enthusiast with a wicked right jab named Hanna, and a fun loving Ohio couple named Kathy and Gary who just can't get enough sweet bunny love.
Hoarders - Hanna/Kathy & Gary
"Compulsive Douchebaggery (two g's?) is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to point and laugh and lampoon those who are less fortunate."
"More than 3 million people are compulsive douchebags."
"Here's two of their blogs....."
01:29 We're gonna call bullshit on the "ridgerunning" and "stump-jumpin".....also the last "cotton-picking" was probably done by her grandparent's slaves....guessing she didn't fall too far of the genetic tree when it comes to physical dexterity.
01:30 COCK
01:45 Why is she feeding them handicapped grain.
01:53 Lawanda...Luanda....Lahwunda.....
01:58 Wheelchair'ing feed around a 4 1/2 acre farm?
02:10 "Hey, take off your shoes...this is semi-new dead cat hair"
02:15 "off to the right is our immovable wall of junk....and over here on your left is the guest immovable wall of junk"
02:30 If this house's a rockin MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CAUSE IT'S COMIN DOWN
02:55 sweet freedom. If you look closely you can see scrawled on the tupper ware in chicken scratch "Brooks wuz here"
03:30 "good thing to get out of that ol raggedy......aggedy trailer" See Hanna's still there mentally, she realized this was basic cable.
03:44 We could go the rest of our lives without ever knowing what behiggies (two g's?) are.
04:15 We figured out why the chickens are dying....she feeds them tide.
04:53 Luwanda don't take no shit! She has a tattoo above her udder that says "Goat Life"
05:01 So that's how you get 30inch biceps? Pushing a wheelchair around 4 acres and bitch slapping goats all day.
05:04 Hit pause.....whom does this remind you of? Think "Nah Clark, he's just under the table yakkin on a bone."
05:55 16 kids and 10 are still living......we are speechless. Although it's above 50% so we'll cut her some slack.
06:22 As long as it's in the confines of a 3 by 5 Rubbermaid tote.
06:45 If 6 of my brothers or sisters had died I would've said " I can't stand to see Mom live...."
Kathy & Gary or I GOT TOO MANY BUNNIES
07:05 "I got too many bunnies." Don't worry we're having the t-shirts printed now.
07:05 Gary seems a little nonchalant about having 6 MILLION GODDAMN BUNNIES
07:15 So in the plus column we have "wiggly nose".......
07:28 "They"? Gary? Really? Let's change that to "Gary says"...."Gary says that when bunnies do it....bunnies do it"
07:28 That t-shirt will be for sale as well
07:40 SHOCKER
07:52 This footage looks like the Blair Bunny Project.
08:15 Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll slowly die of asphyxiation from inhaling bunny shit....tomorrow....it's only a day away.
08:29 The Animal Protective League...which rents a room on the backside of the Justice League.
08:32 My friends call me "Bunny Wrangler" It's not about the money.....WIGGLY NOSES Y'ALL
09:10 We wonder if Jeff had taken the opportunity to be a little punny and tell the landlord that the situation was "hare-y"
09:10 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
09:12 WANDERING FECES Y'ALL
09:52 Petty larceny....b & e....bunnies....the rapsheet just goes on and on with this guy.
10:02 Pause....we'll give you a minute to go and vomit
10:22 As Gary says " I fought the bunnies and they eventually overpowered me and took over my home"
10:36 "No I'm not."
11:32 At this point we're opening up the over/under on dead bodies in Hanna's house at 6
11:45 NO SMOKING - You can clearly tell the chickens wrote that.
11:52 "...specialize in OCD and Compulsive Hoarding...1,2,3...1,2,3...are you gonna throw that away?"
12:28 If you turn up your speakers really loud you can hear "Welcome to the Jungle Baby.....now you're gonna die...."
13:24 Excuse us but it shouldn't it be "Second time I saw one dead?" Stop hoarding bad English.
14:23 "I don't drink liquid chicken shit often...but when I do, I drink Hanna's liquid chicken shit"
15:56 At this point Cory called Misty on her cell from 2 feet away to turn on the fan.
16:35 At least the rabbits seem to be potty trained
17:10 He has a pretty awesome bunnypult so I'd watch my step back there.
17:25 I got's my bunnies, I got's my bejeweled....I don't need no damn shrink.
18:50 They've not once mentioned her hoarding of eggs!!
19:06 So you're saying that you're surprised that the woman who killed 6 of her own children, beat the other 10 so badly that they were removed from her care isn't showing the emotions you thought she would about people helping clean her house?
19:45 She fights kids, she fights goats, she fights chickens
19:45 Luwanda agrees
20:18 We can't believe people willingly come to clean these homes on Hoarders. We both agree we would have been like "Fuck you Matt....no way, I'm going to work at McDonalds". Working on that crew should be court-ordered.
20:51 She's pregnant cause she couldn't get away from the other goat.
20:52 through 21:45 We have no words
22:31 Seven. Seven times.
23:15 Hanna Badger don't care.....Hanna Badger don't give a shit.
23:45 They should change the side of those trucks to read 1-800-What the fuck?
24:13 That's not ice...it's rabbit shit.
24:55 Dorothy needs to take it down a notch.
25:40 The water's for drinkin....the bleach is for the bunnies.....aim for the eyes.
26:50 Pause....can you spot the irony? Hand soap covered in shit.
27:03 We're both very surprised at how well Todd and Levana are taking this. Makes us wonder how bad THEIR house is?
28:13 There really shouldn't be a question about should they evict Gary and Kathy.....
28:50 Shit is about to go down....and not rabbit shit.
29:00 Or the producer....or the crew....or Steve the camera guy.
30:14 THEY"RE ALL SICK
30:21 Understatement of the Decade
31:23 We are shocked that Hanna's children do not deal well with conflict.
31:29 Wait....who the fuck is Bart?
31:45 "HEY WATCH OUT BART!" T-shirt GOLD
33:21 "We didn't land on Portage County Ohio....Portage County Ohio landed on us" - Bunny X
33:33 Probably from Gary.
34:19 They're using the term "cleaned" loosely
36:25 And we mean sick, this turkey was into some SICK shit....scat porn, beastiality (which to them is just called porn).
37:25 We just put on Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" and had a good cry
38:53 Is Hanna gonna have to choke a bitch?
39:00 Where's Bart when you need him?
40:16 WE PICKED THE BEST HOARDER EVAR YOU GUYS!!!
41:24 We're putting money on them finding out that Gary and Kathy have a kid....or had a kid.
43:17 Nope just funny.
End Credits
Hanna moved on to beating larger animals like mules and cows...She felt the smaller ones no longer offered up much of a challenge
Gary and Kathy moved in with Todd and Levana and started humping like rabbits.
Today we're going to attempt to get through an entire episode of A&E's Hoarders. This particular episode features a three legged goat/chicken enthusiast with a wicked right jab named Hanna, and a fun loving Ohio couple named Kathy and Gary who just can't get enough sweet bunny love.
Hoarders - Hanna/Kathy & Gary
"Compulsive Douchebaggery (two g's?) is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to point and laugh and lampoon those who are less fortunate."
"More than 3 million people are compulsive douchebags."
"Here's two of their blogs....."
01:29 We're gonna call bullshit on the "ridgerunning" and "stump-jumpin".....also the last "cotton-picking" was probably done by her grandparent's slaves....guessing she didn't fall too far of the genetic tree when it comes to physical dexterity.
01:30 COCK
01:45 Why is she feeding them handicapped grain.
01:53 Lawanda...Luanda....Lahwunda.....
01:58 Wheelchair'ing feed around a 4 1/2 acre farm?
02:10 "Hey, take off your shoes...this is semi-new dead cat hair"
02:15 "off to the right is our immovable wall of junk....and over here on your left is the guest immovable wall of junk"
02:30 If this house's a rockin MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY CAUSE IT'S COMIN DOWN
02:55 sweet freedom. If you look closely you can see scrawled on the tupper ware in chicken scratch "Brooks wuz here"
03:30 "good thing to get out of that ol raggedy......aggedy trailer" See Hanna's still there mentally, she realized this was basic cable.
03:44 We could go the rest of our lives without ever knowing what behiggies (two g's?) are.
04:15 We figured out why the chickens are dying....she feeds them tide.
04:53 Luwanda don't take no shit! She has a tattoo above her udder that says "Goat Life"
05:01 So that's how you get 30inch biceps? Pushing a wheelchair around 4 acres and bitch slapping goats all day.
05:04 Hit pause.....whom does this remind you of? Think "Nah Clark, he's just under the table yakkin on a bone."
05:55 16 kids and 10 are still living......we are speechless. Although it's above 50% so we'll cut her some slack.
06:22 As long as it's in the confines of a 3 by 5 Rubbermaid tote.
06:45 If 6 of my brothers or sisters had died I would've said " I can't stand to see Mom live...."
Kathy & Gary or I GOT TOO MANY BUNNIES
07:05 "I got too many bunnies." Don't worry we're having the t-shirts printed now.
07:05 Gary seems a little nonchalant about having 6 MILLION GODDAMN BUNNIES
07:15 So in the plus column we have "wiggly nose".......
07:28 "They"? Gary? Really? Let's change that to "Gary says"...."Gary says that when bunnies do it....bunnies do it"
07:28 That t-shirt will be for sale as well
07:40 SHOCKER
07:52 This footage looks like the Blair Bunny Project.
08:15 Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll slowly die of asphyxiation from inhaling bunny shit....tomorrow....it's only a day away.
08:29 The Animal Protective League...which rents a room on the backside of the Justice League.
08:32 My friends call me "Bunny Wrangler" It's not about the money.....WIGGLY NOSES Y'ALL
09:10 We wonder if Jeff had taken the opportunity to be a little punny and tell the landlord that the situation was "hare-y"
09:10 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
09:12 WANDERING FECES Y'ALL
09:52 Petty larceny....b & e....bunnies....the rapsheet just goes on and on with this guy.
10:02 Pause....we'll give you a minute to go and vomit
10:22 As Gary says " I fought the bunnies and they eventually overpowered me and took over my home"
10:36 "No I'm not."
11:32 At this point we're opening up the over/under on dead bodies in Hanna's house at 6
11:45 NO SMOKING - You can clearly tell the chickens wrote that.
11:52 "...specialize in OCD and Compulsive Hoarding...1,2,3...1,2,3...are you gonna throw that away?"
12:28 If you turn up your speakers really loud you can hear "Welcome to the Jungle Baby.....now you're gonna die...."
13:24 Excuse us but it shouldn't it be "Second time I saw one dead?" Stop hoarding bad English.
14:23 "I don't drink liquid chicken shit often...but when I do, I drink Hanna's liquid chicken shit"
15:56 At this point Cory called Misty on her cell from 2 feet away to turn on the fan.
16:35 At least the rabbits seem to be potty trained
17:10 He has a pretty awesome bunnypult so I'd watch my step back there.
17:25 I got's my bunnies, I got's my bejeweled....I don't need no damn shrink.
18:50 They've not once mentioned her hoarding of eggs!!
19:06 So you're saying that you're surprised that the woman who killed 6 of her own children, beat the other 10 so badly that they were removed from her care isn't showing the emotions you thought she would about people helping clean her house?
19:45 She fights kids, she fights goats, she fights chickens
19:45 Luwanda agrees
20:18 We can't believe people willingly come to clean these homes on Hoarders. We both agree we would have been like "Fuck you Matt....no way, I'm going to work at McDonalds". Working on that crew should be court-ordered.
20:51 She's pregnant cause she couldn't get away from the other goat.
20:52 through 21:45 We have no words
22:31 Seven. Seven times.
23:15 Hanna Badger don't care.....Hanna Badger don't give a shit.
23:45 They should change the side of those trucks to read 1-800-What the fuck?
24:13 That's not ice...it's rabbit shit.
24:55 Dorothy needs to take it down a notch.
25:40 The water's for drinkin....the bleach is for the bunnies.....aim for the eyes.
26:50 Pause....can you spot the irony? Hand soap covered in shit.
27:03 We're both very surprised at how well Todd and Levana are taking this. Makes us wonder how bad THEIR house is?
28:13 There really shouldn't be a question about should they evict Gary and Kathy.....
28:50 Shit is about to go down....and not rabbit shit.
29:00 Or the producer....or the crew....or Steve the camera guy.
30:14 THEY"RE ALL SICK
30:21 Understatement of the Decade
31:23 We are shocked that Hanna's children do not deal well with conflict.
31:29 Wait....who the fuck is Bart?
31:45 "HEY WATCH OUT BART!" T-shirt GOLD
33:21 "We didn't land on Portage County Ohio....Portage County Ohio landed on us" - Bunny X
33:33 Probably from Gary.
34:19 They're using the term "cleaned" loosely
36:25 And we mean sick, this turkey was into some SICK shit....scat porn, beastiality (which to them is just called porn).
37:25 We just put on Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" and had a good cry
38:53 Is Hanna gonna have to choke a bitch?
39:00 Where's Bart when you need him?
40:16 WE PICKED THE BEST HOARDER EVAR YOU GUYS!!!
41:24 We're putting money on them finding out that Gary and Kathy have a kid....or had a kid.
43:17 Nope just funny.
End Credits
Hanna moved on to beating larger animals like mules and cows...She felt the smaller ones no longer offered up much of a challenge
Gary and Kathy moved in with Todd and Levana and started humping like rabbits.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Live Action Blog with Cory Dodson
Tits and Other Boobs or Love and Other Drugs....a live blog event by Misty Mills and Cory Dodson
This is our first attempt at live blogging. We've both done some tape-delay gigs in the past but the real money is in "live events". Most likely you won't understand any of what follows if you haven't seen the movie Love and Other Drugs. Obviously the best way to read this is while watching the movie. Also, if you could not have anyone close to you that has Parkinson's would be another good way to watch it. . We both know this is a horrible disease....we both also have sick, twisted senses of humor....so there's your warning. We are not claiming to be good people or good writers....so please enjoy.
00:00 Cory's suggestion to watch the movie topless in honor of the impending breast bonanza is denied.
00:01 Rated R for rots of roobies - Scooby Doo doing the ratings announcement
1:12 What's up with the boom box? Is this Jake Gyllenhall - N - Play?
2:50 This is the first time anyone's ever fucked to the song "Two Princes"
4:57 A budget of 35 million dollars and that's the best actor you can pull for the brother? Assuming Jack Black was unavailable?
*I will say his role was probably the most enjoyable of the movie.
7:14 I know this movie takes place in 1994 but where did they find a StarTAC that still worked?
7:45 Join us Monday nights at 830 TLC for "The Pfizer Cheerleader Tryouts"
8:45 In a twist that was seen by literally everyone that has watched the movie...our main character Jake Gyllenhaal sleeps with the Pfizer instructor. Top Gun Similarity #1
9:00 Oliver Platt was available...shocker
13:04 "No one ever got laid goin dutch"...unless you're in Holland
14:30 Cory is disappointed that there's still no boobs...well actually Misty is disappointed too.
14:45 Calling a black receptionist "Stonewall"?....too soon
16:50 Apparently there's lots of mouth kissing in the drug rep world.
20:15 And the battle of the eyebrows commences....it's like 4 woolly caterpilars up there.
21:00 I wonder if Anne Hathaway and Steven Tyler ever had a taco eating contest. Seriously mesmerized by the size of that mouth.
21:30 BOOB
21:30 Paused while high-fives were exchanged.
21:32 Cory's suggestion to go topless the rest of the movie is denied.....again.
24:30 Brother's internet porn addiction? Neither Cory or Misty see a problem. Shocker.
26:16 Apparently Anne Hathaway shops barefoot at Wal-Mart.
27:00 Two black people outside a coffee shop with a pit bull?....so cliche
27:30 "You know what happens to cure Parkinson's ? Myyyy Cock..." Not actually in the movie. Guess who said it? (Cory said it)
28:00 We've decided Anne Hathaway has a floating jaw....like a boa constrictor eating an ostrich egg.
29:00 Parkinson's sex looks very stressful.
30:00 Wow.....I think we just saw what Jake Gyllenhaal had for lunch...by looking through his anus. Little much there Mr. Cinematographer.
31:00 We both agree at this point we would have texted a person we were dating that had Parkinson's with the following text like 87 times by now ..."What's shakin?"
31:30 Gay black cowboy at the coffee shop?...So cliche.
31:45 Misty lists the four stages of terminal cirrhosis : "my mom, my dad, my uncle , my grandpa"
33:00 Love being discussed...."Actually it was my 5th grade teacher, ever heard of Mary Kay Le Torneau? We had to move. I almost died from giving too many high fives."
38:55 Oh lord the talk...real feelings...need more boobs asap....losing interest
40:56 Parkinson's has to help in the hand job department....I mean all you really have to get is a semi-grip.
41:42 Are her boobs big or is it that she's skinny? Ladies and gentleman we present you with "The Boob Paradox." 5 minutes elapse whilst on pause....long discussion with the ultimate conclusion of that it doesn't really matter, they're still nice tits.
42:15 I wonder if Gyllenhall ever had Broke Back flashbacks? Who has better tits? Heath Ledger or Hathaway?
43:40 As Anne Hathaway lays seductively on the couch in only Jake Gyllenhaal's button up shirt, Cory theorizes that girls wearing a guys shirt and nothing else = super hot....guys wearing a shirt and nothing else just look like really fat toddlers.
45:25 Ahhh pop-tarts...... the Parkinson's afflicted kryptonite
46:34 We really think they could have saved money and had Oliver Platt play the roles of both the brother and the co-worker
49:00 I think Ice Man is gonna hit Maverick. Confrontation between blonde rival pharmaceutical rep and "Maverick" Jake Gyllenhaal. Top Gun Similarity #2.
52:03 Gettin a bit preachy with the Canada stuff here.....SOCIALIZED MEDICINE IS GOOD! AMERICA BAD!! WE GET IT!!
53:45 A bus full of dementia and Alzheimer riddled senior citizens heading to Canada to buy cheap meds has to be the most depressing bus of all time. We really need a tit pick me up.
54:45 Tit pick me up provided....although we can't decide if she's having an orgasm or if that's the Parkinson's?
56:04 Massive Penile Injury? Is there any other kind?
57:45 We can't believe the first bj has taken fifty seven minutes to come to fruition.
58:25 This movie has the worst cinematography. 5 minute discussion of the spelling of cinematography ensues. *Just a side note we both have severe ADHD.....(Cory doesn't but says he does to make Misty feel better).
60:00 MONTAGE!!!
60:01 It makes us soooo angry when they get non-Parkinson's people to play Parkinson's patients....."What do you mean shaky people? hnnhhh!" - Robert Downey Jr's cameo appearance was a surprise.
61:00 Pause in the action ....we just found out about the casey anthony verdict.....it's decided that we'd rather talk about Anne Hathaway's boobs.
62:00 2 minute pause while we consider a Broke Back Mountain/Love and Other Drugs mashup trailer.
63:00 Did he just do the "I'm dangerous" and click his teeth? If he says "you can be my wing man anytime " at the end of the movie, We will be soo not upset. Top Gun Similarity #3
64:30 If this bed's a shakin....get some more meds
67:00 This scene is too personal....the poor brother is caught masturbating. Stories THAT SHALL NOT LEAVE THIS APARTMENT are exchanged. Apologies issued...etc, etc....
69:27 As Anne struggles to open a pill bottle we wonder why aren't Parkinson's patient's pills kept in bowls? We don't have Parkinson's and it's hard for both of us to open up bottles.
73:00 Interesting point, how much was spent on the ruining of overalls on this movie? That's like 17 pairs so far. Is this the reason they couldn't cast Jack Black as the brother? The overall budget just ran too far over?
74:06 As Anne beats Jake down with a verbal assault we think this scene is the equivalent of a child throwing a rock at a dog to get it to leave ...yet with very shaky aim.
75:12 Parkinson's open mic night .....this thing on?
76:17 We've reached the point where we feel like we're being tricked now... We've been lured into caring about Parkinson's through Anne Hathaway's tits.
77:14 Seriously....who hurt you movie writer? Who hurt you?
77:30 Where's the tossed salad? - Parkinson's Conference buffet table humor.
81:30 Still with the StarTAC? I mean he has a Porsche?!?!!?
82:30 Over twenty minutes since our last boob....slowly losing interest...
84:13 "I'll need to get better in order for you to love me?" Totes busted......It's been decided, both Misty and Cory are emotionally dead inside.
88:17 Even though they were in a bra....we're back on track with the boobies.
89:14 How confident do you have to be to eat a sucker at a party? I've never been in any situation where I thought "Man I would look so much cooler with a sucker?"
90:45 Threesome scene.... and this just became the best movie ever.
91:37 Bullshit on that reaction....NO ONE leaves a threesome with a boner...even if it's life threatening.
95:02 Kevin Bacon just got dissed so hard.
95:47 Another "What's shakin?" opportunity missed.
101:01 Only one person on this bus is going to remember this speech.
104;00 The emotional impact of this scene has left us speechless.....or we just remembered the cookies from lunch.
105:17 Unfortunately due to your advanced Parkinson's im gonna need you to answer verbally...I can't tell if that's a yes or no
107:00 They really should've been playin Jenga there.
End Credits.....
We conclude that Regina Spektor had Parkinson's when she sang this song......
So this concludes our live blog of Love and Other Drugs. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed doing it. (That's what she said).
And to prove we're not total jerks....below you'll find a link to donate to help research Parkinson's
This is our first attempt at live blogging. We've both done some tape-delay gigs in the past but the real money is in "live events". Most likely you won't understand any of what follows if you haven't seen the movie Love and Other Drugs. Obviously the best way to read this is while watching the movie. Also, if you could not have anyone close to you that has Parkinson's would be another good way to watch it. . We both know this is a horrible disease....we both also have sick, twisted senses of humor....so there's your warning. We are not claiming to be good people or good writers....so please enjoy.
00:00 Cory's suggestion to watch the movie topless in honor of the impending breast bonanza is denied.
00:01 Rated R for rots of roobies - Scooby Doo doing the ratings announcement
1:12 What's up with the boom box? Is this Jake Gyllenhall - N - Play?
2:50 This is the first time anyone's ever fucked to the song "Two Princes"
4:57 A budget of 35 million dollars and that's the best actor you can pull for the brother? Assuming Jack Black was unavailable?
*I will say his role was probably the most enjoyable of the movie.
7:14 I know this movie takes place in 1994 but where did they find a StarTAC that still worked?
7:45 Join us Monday nights at 830 TLC for "The Pfizer Cheerleader Tryouts"
8:45 In a twist that was seen by literally everyone that has watched the movie...our main character Jake Gyllenhaal sleeps with the Pfizer instructor. Top Gun Similarity #1
9:00 Oliver Platt was available...shocker
13:04 "No one ever got laid goin dutch"...unless you're in Holland
14:30 Cory is disappointed that there's still no boobs...well actually Misty is disappointed too.
14:45 Calling a black receptionist "Stonewall"?....too soon
16:50 Apparently there's lots of mouth kissing in the drug rep world.
20:15 And the battle of the eyebrows commences....it's like 4 woolly caterpilars up there.
21:00 I wonder if Anne Hathaway and Steven Tyler ever had a taco eating contest. Seriously mesmerized by the size of that mouth.
21:30 BOOB
21:30 Paused while high-fives were exchanged.
21:32 Cory's suggestion to go topless the rest of the movie is denied.....again.
24:30 Brother's internet porn addiction? Neither Cory or Misty see a problem. Shocker.
26:16 Apparently Anne Hathaway shops barefoot at Wal-Mart.
27:00 Two black people outside a coffee shop with a pit bull?....so cliche
27:30 "You know what happens to cure Parkinson's ? Myyyy Cock..." Not actually in the movie. Guess who said it? (Cory said it)
28:00 We've decided Anne Hathaway has a floating jaw....like a boa constrictor eating an ostrich egg.
29:00 Parkinson's sex looks very stressful.
30:00 Wow.....I think we just saw what Jake Gyllenhaal had for lunch...by looking through his anus. Little much there Mr. Cinematographer.
31:00 We both agree at this point we would have texted a person we were dating that had Parkinson's with the following text like 87 times by now ..."What's shakin?"
31:30 Gay black cowboy at the coffee shop?...So cliche.
31:45 Misty lists the four stages of terminal cirrhosis : "my mom, my dad, my uncle , my grandpa"
33:00 Love being discussed...."Actually it was my 5th grade teacher, ever heard of Mary Kay Le Torneau? We had to move. I almost died from giving too many high fives."
38:55 Oh lord the talk...real feelings...need more boobs asap....losing interest
40:56 Parkinson's has to help in the hand job department....I mean all you really have to get is a semi-grip.
41:42 Are her boobs big or is it that she's skinny? Ladies and gentleman we present you with "The Boob Paradox." 5 minutes elapse whilst on pause....long discussion with the ultimate conclusion of that it doesn't really matter, they're still nice tits.
42:15 I wonder if Gyllenhall ever had Broke Back flashbacks? Who has better tits? Heath Ledger or Hathaway?
43:40 As Anne Hathaway lays seductively on the couch in only Jake Gyllenhaal's button up shirt, Cory theorizes that girls wearing a guys shirt and nothing else = super hot....guys wearing a shirt and nothing else just look like really fat toddlers.
45:25 Ahhh pop-tarts...... the Parkinson's afflicted kryptonite
46:34 We really think they could have saved money and had Oliver Platt play the roles of both the brother and the co-worker
49:00 I think Ice Man is gonna hit Maverick. Confrontation between blonde rival pharmaceutical rep and "Maverick" Jake Gyllenhaal. Top Gun Similarity #2.
52:03 Gettin a bit preachy with the Canada stuff here.....SOCIALIZED MEDICINE IS GOOD! AMERICA BAD!! WE GET IT!!
53:45 A bus full of dementia and Alzheimer riddled senior citizens heading to Canada to buy cheap meds has to be the most depressing bus of all time. We really need a tit pick me up.
54:45 Tit pick me up provided....although we can't decide if she's having an orgasm or if that's the Parkinson's?
56:04 Massive Penile Injury? Is there any other kind?
57:45 We can't believe the first bj has taken fifty seven minutes to come to fruition.
58:25 This movie has the worst cinematography. 5 minute discussion of the spelling of cinematography ensues. *Just a side note we both have severe ADHD.....(Cory doesn't but says he does to make Misty feel better).
60:00 MONTAGE!!!
60:01 It makes us soooo angry when they get non-Parkinson's people to play Parkinson's patients....."What do you mean shaky people? hnnhhh!" - Robert Downey Jr's cameo appearance was a surprise.
61:00 Pause in the action ....we just found out about the casey anthony verdict.....it's decided that we'd rather talk about Anne Hathaway's boobs.
62:00 2 minute pause while we consider a Broke Back Mountain/Love and Other Drugs mashup trailer.
63:00 Did he just do the "I'm dangerous" and click his teeth? If he says "you can be my wing man anytime " at the end of the movie, We will be soo not upset. Top Gun Similarity #3
64:30 If this bed's a shakin....get some more meds
67:00 This scene is too personal....the poor brother is caught masturbating. Stories THAT SHALL NOT LEAVE THIS APARTMENT are exchanged. Apologies issued...etc, etc....
69:27 As Anne struggles to open a pill bottle we wonder why aren't Parkinson's patient's pills kept in bowls? We don't have Parkinson's and it's hard for both of us to open up bottles.
73:00 Interesting point, how much was spent on the ruining of overalls on this movie? That's like 17 pairs so far. Is this the reason they couldn't cast Jack Black as the brother? The overall budget just ran too far over?
74:06 As Anne beats Jake down with a verbal assault we think this scene is the equivalent of a child throwing a rock at a dog to get it to leave ...yet with very shaky aim.
75:12 Parkinson's open mic night .....this thing on?
76:17 We've reached the point where we feel like we're being tricked now... We've been lured into caring about Parkinson's through Anne Hathaway's tits.
77:14 Seriously....who hurt you movie writer? Who hurt you?
77:30 Where's the tossed salad? - Parkinson's Conference buffet table humor.
81:30 Still with the StarTAC? I mean he has a Porsche?!?!!?
82:30 Over twenty minutes since our last boob....slowly losing interest...
84:13 "I'll need to get better in order for you to love me?" Totes busted......It's been decided, both Misty and Cory are emotionally dead inside.
88:17 Even though they were in a bra....we're back on track with the boobies.
89:14 How confident do you have to be to eat a sucker at a party? I've never been in any situation where I thought "Man I would look so much cooler with a sucker?"
90:45 Threesome scene.... and this just became the best movie ever.
91:37 Bullshit on that reaction....NO ONE leaves a threesome with a boner...even if it's life threatening.
95:02 Kevin Bacon just got dissed so hard.
95:47 Another "What's shakin?" opportunity missed.
101:01 Only one person on this bus is going to remember this speech.
104;00 The emotional impact of this scene has left us speechless.....or we just remembered the cookies from lunch.
105:17 Unfortunately due to your advanced Parkinson's im gonna need you to answer verbally...I can't tell if that's a yes or no
107:00 They really should've been playin Jenga there.
End Credits.....
We conclude that Regina Spektor had Parkinson's when she sang this song......
So this concludes our live blog of Love and Other Drugs. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed doing it. (That's what she said).
And to prove we're not total jerks....below you'll find a link to donate to help research Parkinson's
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